Running out of cards to write on

I am running out of photo black ink for my printer. This shortage translates to not having printed index cards to write on. So, I will be taking a break today again. I am hoping that my order will arrive soon.

Skip it

So, I didn't write the cards. I did not feel well. I still wanted to do it though. I went to take a nap and set my alarm clock to wake up at 10:56pm. When my alarm went off, I just did not want to do it and I went back to sleep.

Sorry

I skipped it again yesterday. It was the first time that I decided to skip writing because of stress and work. I was under extreme pressure with my thesis and I started to have migraine. I told myself that I have skip writing for a day and go to bed early. Sorry. But I just could not do it.

Supplies not keeping up

I am not doing my writing tonight and tomorrow night (8/13 & 14) cause I'm running out of index cards to write on. I did not stock up enough ink for my printer to print the cards.

I also found out that the manufacturer of the recycled index cards that I have been using is out of index cards. I need to research for other brand.

I have written more than 700,000 cards. I almost wonder if I am the biggest buyer of "environotes 3x5 recycled ruled index cards" in the past couple of months. If yes, does this project and the magnitute of the causality consumming all the index cards? And if this is a yes as well, it is pretty haunting.

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To be honest, I am actually kind of happy that I do not have to write the cards tonight...

As of March 13, 2011

As of March 13, 2011, approximately 267,00 cards were written. And this is what I wrote in the middle of March when I was trying to tell people about this project:

"Another project that I am engaging in currently is an on-going performance that deals with my disconnection to the Iraq War while attempting to grapple the scale of the destruction. How can I relate myself to a war that is so remote and yet so real? Time and labor become my tools to examine the authenticity to my concern to the damages in Iraq."

Today is August 13, 2011. What this project means to me besides the fact that I know I have to finish it; I do not know anymore.

Still determined

I am in March 2004. That means exactly a year since the war began. 13,900 cards are written and 3 pens are consummed. It's absolutely not easy to finish this project but as of today, I am still determined.

Hmmmmm...

I have to admit that I'm not as into it as I thought I would be . Wait, did I talk about this already in my previous post.? Anyway, I am not sure if I'm too busy and my mind is too caught it with my work; I have no room in my brain and in my heart to think about the people who are so far away from me. I actually hope that it is the case. I do not want to think that I am heartless and numb. Am I? Maybe I need to invest more time into it in terms of doing research.

How much time should I give myself? I know I should not be doing it if I am not interested in it anymore. But I don't want to give up yet.

I think I need to read more on existentialism. That's my plan.